During our first, long talk, Victoria explained, after hearing my many answers to her questions. "I GET THE PICTURE. Listen carefully. You have 3 choices, judging by where this relentlessly raw, mostly veggies, some nuts and seeds, and almost no fruit 10-month experiment in which you have taken no active part except to eat what has been set before you has taken you. #1 --You either save your life by going back to your cooked, vegetarian meals or at least to cooked starches with your raw food meals to gain some tissue. #2 -- Or you take a short fast so your body can detox and heal itself with the idea of improving digestion, absorption, and assimilation so that your 75,000,000,000,000 cells can better make use of the all-raw diet nutrients in its full spectrum of fruits, veggies, nuts, and seeds and, basically, follow The GetWell Weight-Gain System I teach. #3 -- Or you can continue to just waste and wither away while you put your affairs in order!
"Boy! You are tough, blunt, to the point, and able to get through!" I blurted out.
"That's The Wilderness Woman Profile!" she told me. From that very first and long phone call on, Victoria and I talked and e-mailed with a daily countdown until the day I arrived in Concrete, Washington. During that first call, I did explain I'd pretty much controlled my numerous minor problems with a "few remedies." She asked me to make a list of them, and I tried to wiggle out of it. I really didn't want to face the reality of how much stuff I was taking! But she insisted. She helped me name and count the categories: prescription drugs, over-the-counter drugs, supplements (lots and lots of supplements), several herbal remedies including teas, and homeopathic medicines. I explained that I was basically fine, only that I was, in fact, getting skinny and getting skinnier. I explained that I had "plenty of energy!" Victoria explained: "Over the next few weeks? All that has got to go if you are going to take The Correct Natural Hygiene Fast. You cannot fast and be on any of this stuff! It has all got to go!"
Upon completing the list, Victoria congratulated me and then gave me: "THE TAKING-SOMETHING PRIZE!" It was "the prize," as she put it, "for taking the highest number of pills, potions, cremes, and sprays per day that I have ever seen in 25 years at this!" She was aghast! I sent her a coffee mug picture of my daily dose at its height. It was, in fact, enough to half fill a large coffee mug of pills, plus the potions, cremes, and sprays I had been taking -- every day. About 60 a day at my height of my "taking-something for health insurance" habit.
Here is a rundown of our list: Herbs: herbal supplements: regular tea, cranberry capsules, tumeric, reversatol, ginger, bilberry, noni, evening of primrose, ginko biloba, ginseng, green tea extract, St. John's wort, herbs for the sinus, herbs for the bladder; and herbal sleeping aides: melatonin, Calms Forté, Quietude, go-to-sleep herbal drops, quersityn. Homeopathic remedies: D-mannose anti-bacterial action, silicon, rescue remedy drops, eyebright, arnica (dissolves lactic acid). Prescription drugs: Nasacort-AQ (nose spray steroids), Clindagel (face gel topical to acne), hormone replacement drugs. Over-the-counter drugs: Advil for headaches, Nature's Way for bladder and kidney control, Sudafed for nasal control, Differin for exfoliation. Supplements: a standard multiple vitamin, bromeline, CQ-10, digestive enzymes, glucosamine condroitin, various anti-aging vitamins, calcium, zinc, Life Extension Multiple Mix, vitamin D, vitamin C, pantothenic acid, iron capsules, vitamin D-3, bromeline, vitamin B-6, vitamin B-12, a Vitamin B-12 complex, acidophilus, flax seed oil, lutein, chromium, silicon, h-a-s combination.
To be ordered to stop my taking-something habitual ritual if I wanted to fast sounded unreasonable and, worse yet, impossible! These drugs and remedies and supplements were my daily routine to safeguard my health! They were my arsenal against all that ails others! They were my friends! I was terrified to get off them! What would become of me without them? It was our first conversation, so I knew Victoria needed some background on my unique situation. I explained more fully so she would see that I needed at least some of my pharmacopeias, at least for now.
"Well, I've tried to get off my steroid nose spray in the past, to no avail, can't breathe right without it. And I won't be able to get along without my homeopathic remedies: I need them for sleeping and to control my bladder complaints and a few other things that I use them to insure I won't get problems -- but they're only homeopathic for heaven's sake, just tiny amounts of natural substances to inspire my body to function normally. I take them in such small doses that they are hardly there at all. And I only take my herbal remedies often enough to control the most chronic of my complaints. I only take Advil when in real pain. Also, I can't possibly live normally without my hormone cream, heaven knows. And I've cut way back on my vitamins and minerals. Actually, I have cut everything back that I swallow to hardly 1/2 a large coffee mug a day." I did add, "I knew I should be cutting down some, because once John went back to the health-roots of his youth and got on the live-food diet and healed himself, he became more and more sure that I was poisoning myself with all the excipients and fillers and inactive ingredients and poisons in my remedies faster than my body could eliminate them, hence the skinniness. But I do think I'm at bare bones with cutting down the 60 or so things I take now to about 20 -- don't you? My coffee mug has hardly anything in it now! Look at the picture I sent you! It's hardly 1/2 full!"
"WHAT?" Victoria dramatized: "You want to go as a walking skeleton to your next Halloween party? You won't need a costume! You want people staring at you in quiet fear, lest whatever horrifying thing happened to you would happen to them? You want to be like the character in Stephen King's movie Thinner who, no matter what he does to gain, keeps getting thinner and thinner? You want to look like those anorexic movie women who have gone to 59 pounds? You want to get so you can audition to play a prisoner in a movie set at Auschwitz during The Third Reich? Wake up! PLEASE! What you are doing is not working! Go strip and look in the mirror! PLEASE! We have to get you turned around and on the right track going the right direction before it is too late!
"Do you know that when the Russians and Americans liberated the concentration camp victims in 1945 Germany, many who were alive and systematically fed and who look as emaciated as you or just a little skinnier in the live footage we have just did not make it? Their systems had shut down and could not be brought back, even with steady feeding! DO YOU GET THE PICTURE HERE?" I tend to laugh under stress to lighten things up. But my laughter did not set well with Victoria. "You think this is funny? NO! They must all go! Maybe you can go to someone else's retreat and be on all this stuff and fast. But you must wean yourself off all of them before you come here to fast. The Correct Natural Hygiene Fast is about getting a great deal of rest on all levels -- physical, physiological, sensory, mental, emotional -- so your body can recoup the energy it needs to detoxify and heal. Your remedies are, in fact, Energy Robbers! You are welcome to come here to wean yourself off all these things while you eat very yummy, generously portioned, weight-gain meals in preparation for a fast -- but you must be off all of them before you actually start the fast. You have 6 weeks before you get on the plane. When we hang up, you go and lay everything you take out in front of you and decide what to get off first. Sandra, you are going to love this! Within 3 months from today, you will have your own brain and body back, without any of these poisons to fog it up or mess yourself and your perceptions and experiences up. Just think! Your creativity as an artist has never had its fullest chance to express itself -- you have always been on so many poisons and energy drains!"
And so, I had 6 weeks to get clean. The choice was mine. I'd already made up my mind after talking with Dr. Tosca that I wanted to take a fast and not go back to eating SAD and cooked food to hold onto my weight. I wanted every cell in my body to be built from live-food! I wanted to get, as Victoria puts it: "AS GOOD AS IT GETS!" Victoria's warnings, were therefore, well taken. Making up one's mind is the real battle in accomplishing anything. I began the cutting back process. The first to go was the steroid nose spray, which wasn't nearly as traumatic an experience as it had been before when I had tried and failed to go through complete withdrawal. Motivation is a wonderful thing! Encouraged, I eliminated the 6 "natural" sleeping aides I took every night, fully expecting to stop sleeping altogether and malinger all night with insomnia. But that didn't happen! Victoria offered some things I could do to fall asleep naturally. It was surprising that I could actually get to sleep without my friends, my helpers! I wondered, "What else can I get by without so easily?" From that point on, I was on a roll. I began to eliminate pills and potions, one by one, as a kind of experiment, to see which absence I could tolerate and which I simply could not -- not yet, anyway. I would e-mail Victoria daily, explaining what was gone and what simply had to stay in place. She would carefully read what I had to say and then explain why my cherished hanger-oner had to go. She was very patient and very astute. And a good cheerleader. I was not alone during these 6 weeks. Dr. Tosca and Victoria were working together. And John was my at-home coach. I was determined to be in shape for this fast, so I co-operated in letting go one by one, of each "essential."
A few weeks into the 6, I read "The USANA Document" Victoria and "Our 3 Texas Doctors" had prepared. It was very convincing. Dr. Tosca Haag introduced me to USANA neutraceuticals. Unlike my supplements, the USANAs were bio-available nutrients and, therefore, not poisons. The 1/2 a coffee mug of pills I had been swallowing daily at my "take-something-habit-height," containing vitamins and minerals and what-not, was reduced to 2 little packets: 1 for morning and 1 for evening. I was in the process of giving up a $1,000 a month habit of years! My nutritional insurance was down to $125 a month of "the best." I was immediately impressed when a skin condition of years cleared up! And I felt pretty good! When I finally arrived at the "naturecurerawfoodhealthretreat," I had only 2 items left in my arsenal -- just "2 little friends" had made the trip with me to Concrete. One was the hormone cream. The other was the "miracle" remedy for bladder irritation: D-mannose. I never touched the D-mannose again. And after the first week into my fast, I gave the hormone cream the heave-ho, as well. My body was crying for purity, and I was listening... paying attention.
PART 1: DAY 1:
THE CORRECT NATURAL HYGIENE FAST
When I first arrived at Our Hygiene Homestead in The Woods, walking up the path, I was delighted to find a replica of The 3 Bears' House right out of the Goldilocks' Little Golden Book! Sure enough, inside were rooms with cozy furniture of all different sizes and shapes to try out, all in a wilderness decor, complete with wood carvings, life-like critters everywhere, fuzzy curtains, and bowls with ferns and cattails painted on them! There were new, lovely picture windows throughout the house with woodsy-patterned drapes hanging on wooden rods and adorable lighting complementing the homey, get-comfy atmosphere. It was a cross between stepping into a Beautiful Log Homes & Cabins Magazine and an up-close and personal fairytale. I knew I'd entered, beyond a doubt, into a spiritual place of love and healing. There was a tiny, well-planned, and amazingly equipped kitchen as well, with a carved wooden and marble inlaid table. Although tiny, the kitchen contained every machine, gadget, and amenity. But it sported a conspicuous absence of any food, of any kind, anywhere. I wasn't concerned. I was here to fast.
You would think, at this point, all would have proceeded smoothly. But it wasn't quite as easy as anticipated. Victoria told me my all-raw diet -- with plenty of fruit -- would never have taken me so thin. I might have lost about 10 pounds tops, initially, after making the switch, but no more. Into the third day of my fast, after a few discerning questions, I brought myself to tears as I confided in her, "I am so tired all the time -- but I have had to just keep going and pushing myself to handle my burdens." Turns out that I wasn't so "bursting with energy" as I had been leading myself to believe. I had been running on adrenaline for years. Victoria explained: "The adrenal glands can become exhausted, and a person then simply crashes and wonders what happened!" I was, in fact, in the last stages of total exhaustion, running only on reserves. I have been a "stimulation junkie," I see, after reading Victoria and Dr. Vetrano's dissertation in Common Health Sense -- life has always been so thrilling that I have seldom settled down.
Victoria pointed out: "I do not think you know the difference between running on full energy reserves and running on sheer adrenaline. They can feel the same to the stimulation junkie who loves the thrills more than the steady peace with high energy used for wisely chosen projects and meted out carefully." I was just starting to learn the basics of "It's all about energy!" -- but already, I tended to agree. My first reading assignment was Dr. Tilden's Toxemia Explained. And here I thought I had been "bursting with energy," at least that was what I had told her the day we met on the phone! Then, Victoria drew a mule carrying 5 gunnysacks -- "burdens" -- piled heavy and high on his back. She asked me to consider them mine and to name them. By the end of that session, I was asked to figure out how to make all of these "burdens" not only more manageable so they were no longer Energy Robbers -- but to make them "FUN" to handle! Victoria says: "Misery can be made fun -- if you get the right perspective on life and, as Scripture teaches, to count it all joy! If you can learn to turn misery into fun, you can #1 -- enjoy life like few others, #2 -- never lose your childlike awe of life, and #3 -- accomplish so much more to help yourself and serve God!"
The Wilderness Woman and I had many, many such talks about these burdens and about energy, and she gave me reading assignments on Nerve Energy. I understand that to be "enervated" is like running almost on empty, not unlike using up that last bit of gas in your car beyond the red line on the fuel gauge to show when the fuel is gone. Full reserves are what your body must have to heal itself when sick, but I was using mine to run around on a daily basis. Some I was just wasting being dramatic! Not only was I running on "Empty," I was running on sheer adrenaline, which was also running dangerously low. No wonder I couldn't heal my multiple, little, annoying complaints no matter what "wonderful remedies" I took! No wonder my problems were becoming worse and more chronic with every passing month, requiring more and more dosing to feel comfortable! No wonder I was close to a total collapse -- even on live-foods! I was wrong, and all my concerned friends regarding my skinniness were right! They warned: "If you go under 100 pounds, we are go to do a thinnervention!" Something was really the matter with me! My body was not going to go down and then rebuild like the website info had promised! Victoria and Dr. Tosca now had me concerned -- seriously concerned.
Poor Victoria! I was so wound up upon arriving at Our Homestead, it took her 8 days to get me to keep still and quiet. Dr. Tosca assured Victoria that she was not doing anything wrong: "Some people just cannot be still and relax." John had just bought me a new computer. And it took hours and hours of energy-draining agony with technicians over the phone for 8 days to get it figured out with the right software and sympatico with Victoria's DSL. Then I spent hours and hours on it, e-mailing. She reminded me: "When we first talked about your coming, I asked you if you were bringing a computer; and you wisely told me you would not. Now, you are inviting your technology to ruin your fast." Truthfully, the only way she could have gotten me to rest was to have chained me into the bed. I was out of her control and not following the dictates of The Correct Natural Hygiene Fast to reap its very best benefits. For instance, on the second day of the fast, I spent many hours shopping. Victoria had promised I could do "some shopping" when I got to Washington for items I did not have time to get before coming. After all, I only had 6 weeks to pack! She had pictured 1 - 2 hours of shopping max. I was off to a bad start. On the seventh day into the fast, I absolutely had to get many more items! So Victoria and I went on a round-trip shopping spree that went on for 10 hours. Since she could not talk Rest and Sleep into me, she decided to let me have enough rope to see how unwise this was and left me in these stores while she went on errands. "You are NOT fasting," she admonished. "You are simply not eating!" Being a happy-go-lucky sort, all I had to say about it was, "Hey, if I'd have known, before now, that I could run around like this with no food, I could have saved a fortune on groceries all those years!" The Wilderness Woman did not think that was funny.
The whole time, Victoria had been begging me to watch the 7 videos on The Correct Natural Hygiene Fast and on Nerve Energy. She begged me to re-read her rewrite of The Live Food Factor teachings on The Correct Natural Hygiene Fast at www.naturecurerawfoodhealthretreat.com. But I was enthralled with my computer and obsessed with my shopping sprees! I had even begun shopping online! Then, suddenly, on day 9, I spent 5 whole hours laying on the couch of the patio deck and not moving. I was enjoying it, too! Watching the big maple and evergreen trees sway in the breeze was my only entertainment. The next day, I watched fasters talk about rest, sleep, and healing on a T.C. Fry video at his Wellness Retreat. Their testimonies put me to shame. In the extensive library full of videos, CDs, and books, here at Our Homestead was all I needed to educate myself. But I had to be willing to be still and learn. I saw all these people talk about curing terrible ailments by fasting and resting, in 3 - 30 days! As much reading as I had done before I got here about fasting, as many talks as Victoria and I had about energy while here, as much of Dr. Tilden's Toxemia Explained as Victoria could get me to read, it still took 9 days to realize I'd been squandering my valuable time here and that I had abused nearly 1/2 of my planned 21-day fast.
I'd woken up just in time, too, because Victoria told me: "I'm getting ready to tie you up in the barn with The HighJoy Horse, in order to get you to stay quiet and rest, where I can keep an eye on you and get you away from your computer!" I was glad I had woken up before that! I'd have missed my lovely, private Howling Wolves' Den with my big picture window looking into the woods and my comfortable, adjustable, vibrating bed! Although I must admit, The High Horse, who was to have been my stall-mate, would have made an entertaining and fine companion. A beautiful, white, full-blooded Arabian, used-to-be stallion! One rarely sees a horse like this, except on a movie screen. He takes the breath away, just seeing him so alive, strutting around in front of you -- then reaching out for fresh ears of corn!
My fasting benefits did proceed quickly after that 8-day false start. I spent hours lying in the sun daily. I spent an entire afternoon enthralled with Victoria's rock collections and marbles, as my mind disengaged from its rapid thoughts and my memories took me back to childhood days of playing marbles. For a few hours there in the sun, I wanted to be nowhere else in the world but to be sitting on the tree-trunk stepping stones to Our Homestead, in child play, as the sun glistened light patterns that bounced off the marbles. I was so at peace, so content to be fasting in Concrete! In the heat of summer, no sunscreen is required! The summer sun taken before noon and after 2:00 P.M. here is gentle, as this northern state is too far from the equator for to burn. I was really enjoying the physiological state of ketosis -- "faster's high" -- of living off the fats in my body during fasting instead of off carbohydrates in food while feeding. How else could one so enjoy playing with marbles? Often, I enjoyed the promised "heightened awareness of everything," but especially, of the nature oasis around me.
This was one of the most enjoyable aspects my fast. In addition to the live animals and creatures that run around everywhere and fly in and out at Our Homestead, the huge yard is enhanced by a collection of landscaping characters: squirrels, frogs, fishes, eagles, cranes, turtles, even mice and rats and many others! "All God's creatures," Victoria explained, "are wonderful!" Hence, the mice, rats, and snakes she has cleverly positioned out and about with her nature-loving sense of humor! Everywhere you look, there is something to delight the eye and entertain the senses! Not a whit of boredom can touch you in this wonderful place! After 10 days, I was told: "Your tongue has finally begun to coat up nicely, one of the very best indicators of deep and intense cleansing. It would have happened much faster had you been a complete rester." By days 12 and 13, it was positively white and furry, with different colors appearing and disappearing. Victoria was impressed: "At last, a few days of The Correct Natural Hygiene Fast! Thank God!"
I continued to drink plenty of distilled water, as Victoria sang my praises for settling down. She told me one of the few things I did correctly right from the start, was to drink, drink water and drink some more water! She assured me that I did get benefits out of those early days, even when I had not settled down -- due to the physiological rest of not eating and processing food and to my diligent drinking. Hooray!
After reading all the benefits of the complete fast, I began to speak of extending my fast beyond the 21 days planned in order to make up for the mostly "squandered" time. "I want to take this all the way since I am already here and have this good start," I announced one day. Poor Victoria, again! She already had concerns about me, because I was the absolute skinniest faster she had ever assisted. One day, I admit, I took a good look at myself in one of the several full-length mirrors at Our Homestead. "Could that really be me?" I muttered to myself. I was scary looking -- even to myself! But being a determined, little thing (really "little thing!"), I was out of touch with reality. This Victoria is very good at pointing out, no matter the delusion!
It's a wonder all the woodland statue-creatures didn't come to life, get up, and start jumping up and down and scolding me! But I'd finally gotten the hang of fasting, was loving the inner quiet and stillness, and was prepared to stay with it to the nth degree. Alas, it wasn't to be. Victoria announced: "I am not taking anyone under 90 pounds here -- ever! Are you nuts? Strip and go look in the mirror again!" By day 16, I was showing definite signs that the time to break had arrived. Even my tongue was beginning to clear. Victoria, with her patience and wisdom, while giving me one of her "feels good massages," explained all the whys and wherefores of breaking a fast to me, everything from my mindset, to my symptoms were thoroughly reviewed and put into context, where I started to get as concerned as she was, started to understand through her educated mind. Together, we agreed to break. Besides, it's hard to argue with someone who is making sense and giving you a wonderful massage at the same time. One of the best things I did with this visit was to sign up for 3 "rubs" a week. Good for the adrenals, good for every one of the 75,000,000,000,000 cells in the body, and good for the soul.
The most amazing thing of all to grasp, since the day we met on the phone, was when Victoria told me: "In the spirit of 'Time flies when you're having fun!' and because of the time-warp of letting go and leaving it all behind and because of all the new input of information and re-organizing the priorities in your life while here, your stay here is really like a 2-part moment. In a way, it is like just being here 2 days. The sum total of everything during the fast will be like PART 1 -- or DAY 1 -- of your visit at Our Hygiene Homestead in The Woods. PART 2 -- or DAY 2 -- is everything after the fast. Then? You go home to make your new life! OH! HAPPY DAY!"
